Fathers Day Be There

Father's Day: Be There (Luke 15:11-32)

Pastor Tom Mitchell

I love the title of one of Dr. James Dobson's books: Parenting Isn't For Cowards. As a father of three, I, too, know that raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

I remember reading about a guy who stopped in the grocery store on the way home from work to pick up a couple of items for his wife. He wandered around aimlessly for a while searching out the needed groceries. As is often the case in the grocery store, he kept passing this same shopper in almost every aisle. It was another father trying to shop with a totally uncooperative three-year-old boy in the cart.

The first time they passed, the three year old was asking over and over for a candy bar. Our observer couldn't hear the entire conversation. He just heard Dad say, "Now, Billy, this won't take long." As they passed in the nest aisle, the 3-year-old's pleas had increased several octaves. Now Dad was quietly saying, "Billy, just calm down. We will be done in a minute."

When they passed near the dairy case, the kid was screaming uncontrollably. Dad was still keeping his cool. In a very low voice he was saying, "Billy, settle down. We are almost out of here." The Dad and his son reached the check out counter just ahead of our observer. He still gave no evidence of losing control. The boy was screaming and kicking. Dad was very calmly saying over and over, "Billy, we will be in the car in just a minute and then everything will be OK."

The bystander was impressed beyond words. After paying for his groceries, he hurried to catch up with this amazing example of patience and self-control just in time to hear him say again, "Billy, we're done. It's going to be OK." He tapped the patient father on the shoulder and said, "Sir, I couldn't help but watch how you handled little Billy. You were amazing."

Dad replied, "You don't get it, do you?" I'm Billy!"

As we are in the season of baseball, hot dogs and family vacations, and since this is Father's Day, I thought I would share with you a story I read that was first appeared in an issue of Focus on the Family Magazine about a young man who appreciates his role as a father.

Tim Burke was a major league pitcher in the 1990’s for the Montreal Expos, New York Mets, and New York Yankees. With potentially a number of baseball years still ahead of him, he retired at the age of thirty-three. The question, of course, is why?

Tim and his wife Christine could have no children. Over time, they were led to adopt four Korean children, all with special needs. As Tim realized the demands this put on his wife to be "mother, father, doctor, mover, plumber, secretary, etc.", he decided he would give up the game he loved in order to be a major league dad and a major league husband.

Christine was particularly moved by her husband's decision for a number of reasons: she knew how much he loved baseball, but realized through this decision how much he loved God, her, and their children. Christine was especially touched by Tim's dedication to their children because her father had left before she was born. She had never known a father's unconditional love. Her husband's decision, although a puzzlement to numerous baseball fans, was to them a clear decision to be there for their family. It stands as an excellent example of good decision-making in the midst of a society in which family values are in decline.

Turn your attention to another effective father whose decision to be there is crucial to our understanding of God's intentions for the Christian father today.

The prodigal son is a familiar biblical story. The primary message is that the prodigal "came to himself".

The prodigal son, eventually repented of his sin and was restored in his relationship with his family. But did you ever wonder what may have happened to this young prodigal if his father had not been waiting in the path as he made those last steps toward home? Let us concentrate on just one verse of scripture, Luke 15:20 that give us truth for the Jesus following man who desires to be an effective father.

The first phrase is, "But while he was still far off." After reading and thinking about this phrase you get the clear feeling that this father, although loving his son enough to "let go," never stopped praying until his son's safe return. You see, the rather could have said to himself, "That unappreciative son! He took my money and went; well, now he's on his own. Let’s see how he handles the real world." Yet that is not what this father did. Instead this father was preparing for his son's return as he waits for the Holy Spirit to open the eyes and touch the heart of the young prodigal.

What do you do when your children are "far off"? That can range from being away at college to not living up to your expectations, or to God's expectations for them, to making home life chaotic because of their rebellion against authority, to growing up faster than necessary, to a lack of appreciation for all you do on their behalf. What do you do?

Donald C. Hoagland, says: The advice we get from this parable from the lips of Jesus is: "Be There." The prodigal's father did not give up; he was patient; he was able to wait for God to work through life’s events. A father of a prodigal can be patient for Jesus to work if he has a close relationship with Jesus. Is that true of you? Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus that enables you to trust God eternally as well as daily?

Tim Burke's close relationship with Jesus enabled him to make what others would have considered a crazy decision.

In the parable, a pre-established relationship with Jesus enabled the father to “be there” until his son came to his senses. Those of you who have been through those weeks, months, and even years with sons or daughters know that it requires spiritual staying power.

In his bookThe Masculine Mandate, pastor and author Richard D. Phillips writes of his meaningful relationship with his father. In 1972, Phillips was just 12-years-old when his father was sent to Vietnam. The only way he and his father could communicate was through letters. He writes: One of the most powerful memories is the thrill of the letter I would receive from my father almost every week …. Recalling my personal letters from Dad practically brings me to tears even now. He would simply begin by telling me about his life. Not big military issues, but "neat stuff" that happened or that he saw. Then he would talk to me about my life, writing things like this: "Dear Ricky, I heard you had a great baseball game and made a great catch. Your mother told me how exciting it was when you won. How I wish I could have been there, but I can see you making that catch in my mind." …

Do you see what [my dad] was doing? My dad was telling me that I was his boy and that his heart was fully engaged with me, even from halfway around the world …. In the midst of a life-and-death war zone my father was truly absorbed in my life. And I knew it. So when he said to me, in effect, "My son, give me your heart," he had already given every bit of his heart to me, his boy. I couldn't possibly help giving my heart back to him.

Second phrase: The Bible tells us that the prodigal's father was “filled with compassion”. Imagine having your temper or need to get payback so in check that you could demonstrate mercy and compassion. Do you realize that one of the reasons why there are so many dysfunctional adults running around today is because they've never heard the words "I love you" or "You're forgiven" from a compassionate Christian father? It happens because (1) a father resigns by leaving a marriage or his role as a father; (2) it happens because a father has never experienced God's forgiveness himself, therefore forgiving others, particularly his own children, becomes overwhelming; (3) it happens because the models he had growing up were negative or, worse yet, abusive.

Consider what you want your children to remember you most for. If you're going to make a mistake on one side of the fatherly ledger, it seems to me that compassion and caring is the side on which to err. What did Jesus do? Did He spend more time caring for and loving His disciples, or disciplining them?

Third: v 20 tells us: "He put his arms around him and kissed him." Do you think the prodigal knew he was forgiven? You bet he did! The party that followed was proof. His father left no room for doubt that he loved and forgave his son. He put his arms around his prodigal son and hugged him.

At this point in the message I have heard others say: Fathers are your priorities in order? Are you putting Jesus first, family second, and work next? How many of you have heard that? How many of you have figured out how to do that?

What does it mean to put Jesus first? Does it mean starting every day with prayer and Bible study? If so how much time do I spend in prayer and Bible study to show I’m putting Jesus first?

Does putting Jesus first mean when I’m faced with options, Jesus and his agenda should always be the first choice? How far does that go? Does that mean I should go to the Church board meeting or Bible study and skip my kid’s ball game?

I may sound unspiritual here but I have stopped putting Jesus first and have started putting Jesus at the center. Imagine a circle or a wheel with a hub and spokes. I put Jesus in the center hub. Each of the spokes represents as area or activity of my life. Activities like: work, church, and times with family, friends, or time mowing the lawn, fishing or golfing.

Taking Jesus off the top of my priority list and putting him in the center of my life has helped me to see ALL of life as spiritual. It has helped me see that Jesus wants to do ALL of life with me.

Putting Jesus in the middle has helped me see that ALL of life is spiritual – everything that I do is to be done with Jesus. So here’s what I’m saying, put Jesus in the middle of your life where he belongs.